“神秘的皮膚”：同一PTSD硬幣的兩側

“兩個男孩。一個不記得。另一個不能忘記。” - 不是嗎？當創傷擊中時，大腦會選擇一側。您不會選擇降落的那個。

"Mysterious Skin" is a movie best approached blind, if you can handle it. I’d say I’m a pretty steely viewer. Not much shakes me; I rarely cry at movies, and I’m rarely left feeling rattled. But for a solid 80 percent of Gregg Araki’s effort, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It’s so visceral it makes you want to clutch your stomach as it turns over and over. It left my chest aching, dragging me along with the runtime.

如果您能處理的話，“神秘的皮膚”是一部最能接近盲人的電影。我會說我是一個非常堅定的觀眾。沒有太多搖動我；我很少在電影哭泣，很少讓我感到震驚。但是，對於格雷格·阿拉基（Gregg Araki）的80％的努力，我覺得自己無法呼吸。它是如此內在，使您想在一遍又一遍地轉彎時抓住胃。它使我的胸部疼痛，將我拖到運行時。

As trauma is caused and then endured in two very different ways on screen, the film somehow pulls your body into survival mode right alongside it. Brady Corbett plays Brian Lackey, the one who can’t remember. Growing up with this horrendous feeling that something happened but the memory of it is missing, his scenes leave you feeling haunted, aching, and deeply unsatisfied in a conflicting way. Like the character, you’re left feeling terrified by what the memory might be and equally terrified by what it would be like to find it again.

由於造成創傷，然後在屏幕上以兩種截然不同的方式忍受，這部電影以某種方式將您的身體納入生存模式。布雷迪·科貝特（Brady Corbett）扮演不記得的布萊恩·拉基（Brian Lackey）。以這種可怕的感覺成長，發生了一些事情，但記憶卻遺失了，他的場景使您感到困惑，酸痛和深深地不滿意。像角色一樣，您對記憶的可能會感到恐懼，並同樣被再次找到它的感覺所恐懼。

When your body enters survival mode during trauma, the hippocampus—the part of your brain responsible for memory—can shut down completely. For some people with PTSD, it never fully switches back on. While many still associate PTSD with vivid flashbacks, like a soldier reliving war, the reality is often the opposite.

當您的身體在創傷期間進入生存模式時，海馬（您的大腦負責記憶的一部分）可以完全關閉。對於某些患有PTSD的人來說，它永遠不會完全重新打開。儘管許多仍將PTSD與生動的倒敘聯繫起來，但像士兵重播戰爭一樣，現實通常恰恰相反。

The war is wiped from your memory, but your body still believes it’s fighting. Dissociation, brain fog, and forgetting the trauma entirely are just as much a part of PTSD as remembering. It leaves people feeling exactly like Brian does: cut off, confused, and trapped in a life that seems safe and normal, while the mind remains stuck in a battle it can’t see but can still feel.

戰爭是從您的記憶中抹去的，但您的身體仍然相信它在戰鬥。分離，大腦霧和完全忘記創傷是PTSD的一部分，與記住一樣。它使人們感覺完全像布萊恩（Brian）那樣：切斷，困惑和困住了看起來安全和正常的生活，而思想仍然陷入了一場看不見的戰鬥中，但仍然可以感覺到。

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Neil McCormick, the one who can’t forget. Neil lives his life fully and completely within his trauma, so much so that he doesn’t even register it as that. For some, PTSD is an insidious and quiet thing that rumbles deep within them; for others, it is a complete and utter rearrangement, something that touches the skin and the bones and trickles down to the very guts of a person. Neil embodies that. Not only is he completely aware of his trauma, he is shaped by it. He behaves exactly like his abuser and continues to perpetrate the abuse he faced against others, but mostly against himself, well into his teenage years.

約瑟夫·戈登·萊維特（Joseph Gordon-Levitt）扮演尼爾·麥考密克（Neil McCormick），這是不能忘記的人。尼爾（Neil）充分地生活在自己的創傷中，以至於他甚至沒有這樣登記。對於某些人來說，PTSD是一件陰險，安靜的事物，內部隆隆出來。對於其他人來說，這是一個完整而完全的重新安排，可以觸動皮膚，骨頭並滴入一個人的膽量。尼爾體現了這一點。他不僅完全意識到自己的創傷，而且還被它塑造。他的舉止完全像施虐者，並繼續犯下他對他人面臨的虐待，但大多數是在他的十幾歲的時候。

But again, the character is tackling nuanced misconceptions about trauma responses. The stereotype is that trauma makes a person scared, and so they will spend their lifetime running and avoiding what scared them. It’s assumed that no one wants to be reminded of the bad thing that happened, so they naturally become completely averse to it, but that’s not true.

但是，這個角色再次解決了對創傷反應的細微誤解。刻板印像是創傷使一個人感到害怕，因此他們將一生跑步並避免害怕他們的事情。假設沒有人想讓發生的壞事讓人自然地對它完全不反感，但這不是事實。

There are several newer films that handle this beautifully, like Poor Things or Nosferatu, which both pick apart the nuanced connection between trauma and hypersexuality or people’s tendency to run towards their trauma. This is because PTSD can make that ugly situation feel oddly comforting due to its familiarity. But in this 2004 portrayal, or even the original 1995 book, the way it’s handled is quite novel for its time. Just as how Brian’s scenes leave you feeling his disorientation, you also end up feeling Neil’s emotional extremes in his scenes.

有幾部新的電影可以很好地處理這部電影，例如糟糕的事物或nosferatu，它們既散發了創傷與性愛之間的細微差別聯繫，又可以挑戰人們朝著創傷奔波的傾向。這是因為PTSD可以使這種醜陋的情況由於熟悉而感到奇怪的安慰。但是，在這本2004年的刻畫，甚至是1995年的原始書籍中，其處理方式在當時都是非常新穎的。正如布萊恩（Brian）的場景如何使您感受到他的迷失方向一樣，您最終也會在他的場景中感受到尼爾的情感極端。

His story arc makes you feel utterly manic, in moments completely thrilled and giddy as he runs around in a storm of sexual chaos, but then, when it splinters, the fear in those scenes is both utterly overwhelming and masterfully numbing. Like the brain going quiet in freeze mode, a typical third option to fight or flight, Araki once again pushes his viewer directly into the experience of a trauma response.

他的故事弧使您感到完全躁狂，在他在性混亂的風暴中跑來跑去時，完全激動和頭暈，但是隨後，當它碎裂時，這些場景中的恐懼既令人沮喪又令人麻木。就像大腦在凍結模式下保持安靜，這是戰鬥或飛行的典型第三種選擇一樣，阿拉基再次將觀眾直接推向創傷反應的體驗。

Even as both sides converge, when the two boys meet, and the memory of their shared trauma is made known to both, neither can offer a resolution. The film ends as gut-wrenchingly as it began, as the commitment to depicting PTSD endures with a suitably tricky ending, staying as a reminder that no disorder is ever neatly packaged. The rewiring of the brain that trauma causes can’t be solved with a happy ending, if at all.

即使雙方都融合了兩個男孩相遇，並且對他們共同的創傷的記憶也被眾所周知，這兩個男孩都無法提供解決方案。這部電影的結束是最開始的，就像描繪PTSD持久的承諾一樣，以一個棘手的結局來忍受，以提醒人們，沒有混亂的包裝整齊。大腦的重新佈線是創傷原因無法通過幸福的結局來解決。