擁抱生命的金幣：療癒裂縫

n

In the tapestry of life, we encounter threads of joy, triumph, despair, and betrayal. As we navigate the complexities of human existence, we experience moments that uplift us and others that leave us shattered. Betrayal, in particular, has a profound impact on our psyche, unraveling the delicate fabric of trust we meticulously weave into our relationships. It leaves us gasping not for air, but for a connection to a reality that seems to slip through our fingers.

在生命的織錦中，我們會遇到歡樂、勝利、絕望和背叛的線索。當我們在應對人類生存的複雜性時，我們會經歷一些讓我們振奮的時刻，也經歷一些讓我們心碎的時刻。尤其是背叛，會對我們的心靈產生深遠的影響，破壞我們精心編織在人際關係中的微妙信任結構。它讓我們喘息的不是空氣，而是與似乎從我們指縫中溜走的現實的連結。

The sting of betrayal is undeniable, piercing our hearts and leaving us wounded. It exposes the fragile threads of trust we thought we had stitched tightly into the tapestry of our lives. Like a searing flame, it burns and corrodes, leaving deep cracks in places we never imagined could break.

背叛的刺痛是不可否認的，它刺痛我們的心，讓我們受傷。它暴露了我們以為已經緊緊縫在生活掛毯上的脆弱的信任之線。就像灼熱的火焰一樣，它會燃燒和腐蝕，在我們從未想像過的地方留下深深的裂縫。

In the aftermath of such a profound experience, anger often surges through our veins like molten lava, consuming us from the inside out. But anger, while a natural response, is not a release; it is a captor. It festers and poisons us, consuming us one thought at a time, until we are left hollowed by its weight.

在經歷瞭如此深刻的經歷之後，憤怒常常像熔岩一樣在我們的血管中湧動，從內到外吞噬我們。但憤怒雖然是一種自然反應，但不是一種釋放；而是一種釋放。它是一個俘虜。它使我們潰爛、毒害，一次一個地消耗我們的思想，直到我們被它的重量弄得空虛。

And yet, these emotions—anger, despair, betrayal—cannot be ignored. They demand to be acknowledged, even when society shames us into silence. Depression, though silent, is not innocent. It takes root, wrapping its tendrils around the mind, stealing joy and suffocating hope. Yet we treat it as an afterthought, a taboo. In doing so, we fail ourselves and others.

然而，這些情緒──憤怒、絕望、背叛──卻不能被忽視。他們要求得到承認，即使社會羞辱我們讓我們保持沉默。憂鬱症雖然無聲無息，但並不是無辜的。它紮根，用卷鬚纏繞心靈，偷走歡樂，窒息希望。然而我們卻把它視為事後的想法、禁忌。如果這樣做，我們就會辜負自己和別人。

I know this because in 2024, I lost a dear friend to that silence. They were larger than life—a force of nature, a legend who seemed invincible. They radiated joy, humor, and brilliance, creating an aura so bright it masked the darkness within. But in the spaces between their noise, their laughter, their light, they were drowning. They died feeling unmoored, unloved, and unseen. And while the world mourned the icon, I mourned the person, grappling with the painful realization that their loneliness had gone unnoticed, their struggles unheard.

我之所以知道這一點，是因為在 2024 年，我在這種沉默中失去了一位親愛的朋友。他們比生命更偉大——一種自然的力量，一個似乎不可戰勝的傳奇。他們散發著歡樂、幽默和才華，創造出一種明亮的光環，掩蓋了內心的黑暗。但在他們的喧鬧、笑聲和光芒之間，他們被淹沒了。他們臨終時感到沒有停泊、沒有被愛、沒有被看見。當全世界哀悼這位偶像時，我也哀悼這個人，痛苦地意識到他們的孤獨被忽視了，他們的掙扎被忽視了。

Another friend, who remains nameless here, continues to fight a different kind of battle. They have faced life-altering illness with a courage that can only be described as miraculous. And yet, it is not their body but their mind that now threatens to undo them. Depression and anger coil tightly within, hissing questions: "Why me? Why now?" I've sat with them in their silence, felt the weight of their words, and known the helplessness that comes when there are no easy answers.

另一位朋友，在這裡仍然無名，繼續進行另一場戰鬥。他們以奇蹟般的勇氣面對改變生活的疾病。然而，現在威脅要毀滅他們的不是他們的身體，而是他們的思想。憂鬱和憤怒緊緊地盤繞在內心，發出嘶嘶的疑問：“為什麼是我？為什麼是現在？”我和他們一起坐在沉默中，感受到他們話語的分量，也知道沒有簡單的答案時所帶來的無助。

I see my own story in theirs. When I lost my sight—legally blind, seeing only three feet from one eye—I felt betrayed by life itself. I stopped eating, stopped caring. My reflection in the mirror became a stranger, one I feared and loathed. I didn't want to live in a world I couldn't experience on my terms. My anger turned inward, corroding me from the inside out, until I was as broken in spirit as I was in body.

我在他們的故事中看到了我自己的故事。當我失明時——法定失明，一隻眼睛只能看到三英尺——我感覺到生活本身背叛了我。我不再吃東西，不再關心。鏡子裡的我變得陌生，令我害怕又厭惡。我不想生活在一個我無法按照自己的方式體驗的世界。我的憤怒轉向內心，從內到外腐蝕我，直到我的精神和身體一樣破碎。

But healing, as I've learned, doesn't come from denying our cracks. It comes from acknowledging them. My mother, with her infinite wisdom, often spoke of life as a golden coin. One side shimmers with joy, beauty, and triumph—the emotions we celebrate with open arms. The other side, equally important, holds despair, betrayal, and loss. To live fully, she taught me, is to embrace both sides with equal grace.

但據我所知，治癒並不是來自否認我們的裂縫。它來自於承認它們。我的母親以她無窮的智慧，常說生命是一枚金幣。一側閃爍著喜悅、美麗和勝利——我們張開雙臂慶祝的情感。同樣重要的另一面是絕望、背叛和失落。她教導我，要活得充實，就要以同等的優雅擁抱雙方。

She also introduced me to the Japanese art of Kintsugi, the practice of mending broken pottery with gold. In her eyes, every crack was an opportunity to weave beauty from brokenness, to honor the damage with something precious. She urged me to see life's cracks not as flaws but as proof of resilience. "If we only polish one side of the coin," she would say, "we tarnish its beauty. The gold lies on the other side, waiting to fill the cracks that life leaves behind."

她也向我介紹了日本的金繼藝術，也就是用金子修補破損陶器的做法。在她眼中，每一條裂縫都是一個機會，可以從破碎中編織出美麗，用珍貴的東西來紀念傷害。她敦促我不要將生活中的裂縫視為缺陷，而是將其視為韌性的證明。 “如果我們只拋光硬幣的一面，”她會說，“我們就會玷污它的美麗。金子就在另一面，等待著填補生活留下的裂縫。”

When I returned to India during my illness, she insisted I take a sabbatical from life and work. She fed me, literally and figuratively, with small portions of food and larger servings of hope. Slowly, I began to heal—not because my cracks disappeared, but because I learned to fill them with self-forgiveness, self-preservation, and self-celebration. I began to see the sheen of Kintsugi in myself, the shimmer of a life pieced together not despite its fractures, but because of them.

當我生病返回印度時，她堅持要我暫時停止生活和工作。她從字面上和比喻上給我餵了小份的食物和更多的希望。慢慢地，我開始痊癒──不是因為我的裂痕消失了，而是因為我學會了用自我寬恕、自我保護和自我慶祝來填補它們。我開始在自己身上看到金繼的光芒，看到生命的閃光，儘管它有破碎，但因為它們而拼湊起來。

As we step into 2025, I invite you to see your own cracks as spaces to be filled with gold. To confront the anger, despair, and fear that betrayal leaves behind. To understand that healing is not linear, nor is it easy. It is a cobbled path, strewn with doubts and distractions, but it is

當我們邁入 2025 年時，我邀請您將自己的裂縫視為可以用黃金填充的空間。面對背叛留下的憤怒、絕望和恐懼。要明白治癒不是線性的，也不是一件容易的事。這是一條鵝卵石鋪成的小路，充滿了懷疑和乾擾，但它