拥抱生命的金币：治愈裂缝

n

In the tapestry of life, we encounter threads of joy, triumph, despair, and betrayal. As we navigate the complexities of human existence, we experience moments that uplift us and others that leave us shattered. Betrayal, in particular, has a profound impact on our psyche, unraveling the delicate fabric of trust we meticulously weave into our relationships. It leaves us gasping not for air, but for a connection to a reality that seems to slip through our fingers.

在生命的织锦中，我们会遇到欢乐、胜利、绝望和背叛的线索。当我们应对人类存在的复杂性时，我们会经历一些让我们振奋的时刻，也经历一些让我们心碎的时刻。尤其是背叛，会对我们的心灵产生深远的影响，破坏我们精心编织在人际关系中的微妙信任结构。它让我们喘息的不是空气，而是与似乎从我们指缝中溜走的现实的联系。

The sting of betrayal is undeniable, piercing our hearts and leaving us wounded. It exposes the fragile threads of trust we thought we had stitched tightly into the tapestry of our lives. Like a searing flame, it burns and corrodes, leaving deep cracks in places we never imagined could break.

背叛的刺痛是不可否认的，它刺痛我们的心，让我们受伤。它暴露了我们以为已经紧紧地缝在生活挂毯上的脆弱的信任之线。就像灼热的火焰一样，它会燃烧和腐蚀，在我们从未想象过的地方留下深深的裂缝。

In the aftermath of such a profound experience, anger often surges through our veins like molten lava, consuming us from the inside out. But anger, while a natural response, is not a release; it is a captor. It festers and poisons us, consuming us one thought at a time, until we are left hollowed by its weight.

在经历了如此深刻的经历之后，愤怒常常像熔岩一样在我们的血管中涌动，从内到外吞噬我们。但愤怒虽然是一种自然反应，但并不是一种释放；而是一种释放。它是一个俘虏。它使我们溃烂、毒害，一次一个地消耗我们的思想，直到我们被它的重量弄得空虚。

And yet, these emotions—anger, despair, betrayal—cannot be ignored. They demand to be acknowledged, even when society shames us into silence. Depression, though silent, is not innocent. It takes root, wrapping its tendrils around the mind, stealing joy and suffocating hope. Yet we treat it as an afterthought, a taboo. In doing so, we fail ourselves and others.

然而，这些情绪——愤怒、绝望、背叛——却不能被忽视。他们要求得到承认，即使社会羞辱我们让我们保持沉默。抑郁症虽然无声无息，但并不是无辜的。它扎根，用卷须缠绕心灵，偷走欢乐，窒息希望。然而我们却把它视为事后的想法、禁忌。如果这样做，我们就会辜负自己和他人。

I know this because in 2024, I lost a dear friend to that silence. They were larger than life—a force of nature, a legend who seemed invincible. They radiated joy, humor, and brilliance, creating an aura so bright it masked the darkness within. But in the spaces between their noise, their laughter, their light, they were drowning. They died feeling unmoored, unloved, and unseen. And while the world mourned the icon, I mourned the person, grappling with the painful realization that their loneliness had gone unnoticed, their struggles unheard.

我之所以知道这一点，是因为在 2024 年，我在这种沉默中失去了一位亲爱的朋友。他们比生命更伟大——一种自然的力量，一个似乎不可战胜的传奇。他们散发着欢乐、幽默和才华，创造出一种明亮的光环，掩盖了内心的黑暗。但在他们的喧闹、笑声和光芒之间，他们被淹没了。他们临终时感到没有停泊、没有被爱、没有被看见。当全世界哀悼这位偶像时，我也哀悼这个人，痛苦地意识到他们的孤独被忽视了，他们的挣扎被忽视了。

Another friend, who remains nameless here, continues to fight a different kind of battle. They have faced life-altering illness with a courage that can only be described as miraculous. And yet, it is not their body but their mind that now threatens to undo them. Depression and anger coil tightly within, hissing questions: "Why me? Why now?" I've sat with them in their silence, felt the weight of their words, and known the helplessness that comes when there are no easy answers.

另一位朋友，在这里仍然无名，继续进行着另一种战斗。他们以奇迹般的勇气面对改变生活的疾病。然而，现在威胁要毁灭他们的不是他们的身体，而是他们的思想。抑郁和愤怒紧紧地盘绕在内心，发出嘶嘶的疑问：“为什么是我？为什么是现在？”我和他们一起坐在沉默中，感受到他们话语的分量，也知道当没有简单的答案时所带来的无助。

I see my own story in theirs. When I lost my sight—legally blind, seeing only three feet from one eye—I felt betrayed by life itself. I stopped eating, stopped caring. My reflection in the mirror became a stranger, one I feared and loathed. I didn't want to live in a world I couldn't experience on my terms. My anger turned inward, corroding me from the inside out, until I was as broken in spirit as I was in body.

我在他们的故事中看到了我自己的故事。当我失明时——法定失明，一只眼睛只能看到三英尺——我感到生活本身背叛了我。我不再吃东西，不再关心。镜子里的我变得陌生，令我害怕又厌恶。我不想生活在一个我无法按照自己的方式体验的世界中。我的愤怒转向内心，从内到外腐蚀我，直到我的精神和身体一样破碎。

But healing, as I've learned, doesn't come from denying our cracks. It comes from acknowledging them. My mother, with her infinite wisdom, often spoke of life as a golden coin. One side shimmers with joy, beauty, and triumph—the emotions we celebrate with open arms. The other side, equally important, holds despair, betrayal, and loss. To live fully, she taught me, is to embrace both sides with equal grace.

但据我所知，治愈并不是来自否认我们的裂缝。它来自于承认它们。我的母亲以她无穷的智慧，常说生命是一枚金币。一侧闪烁着喜悦、美丽和胜利——我们张开双臂庆祝的情感。同样重要的另一面是绝望、背叛和失落。她教导我，要生活得充实，就要以同等的优雅拥抱双方。

She also introduced me to the Japanese art of Kintsugi, the practice of mending broken pottery with gold. In her eyes, every crack was an opportunity to weave beauty from brokenness, to honor the damage with something precious. She urged me to see life's cracks not as flaws but as proof of resilience. "If we only polish one side of the coin," she would say, "we tarnish its beauty. The gold lies on the other side, waiting to fill the cracks that life leaves behind."

她还向我介绍了日本的金继艺术，即用黄金修补破损陶器的做法。在她眼中，每一条裂缝都是一个机会，可以从破碎中编织出美丽，用珍贵的东西来纪念伤害。她敦促我不要将生活中的裂缝视为缺陷，而是将其视为韧性的证明。 “如果我们只抛光硬币的一面，”她会说，“我们就会玷污它的美丽。金子就在另一面，等待着填补生活留下的裂缝。”

When I returned to India during my illness, she insisted I take a sabbatical from life and work. She fed me, literally and figuratively, with small portions of food and larger servings of hope. Slowly, I began to heal—not because my cracks disappeared, but because I learned to fill them with self-forgiveness, self-preservation, and self-celebration. I began to see the sheen of Kintsugi in myself, the shimmer of a life pieced together not despite its fractures, but because of them.

当我生病返回印度时，她坚持让我暂时停止生活和工作。她从字面上和比喻上给我喂了小份的食物和更多的希望。慢慢地，我开始痊愈——不是因为我的裂痕消失了，而是因为我学会了用自我宽恕、自我保护和自我庆祝来填补它们。我开始在自己身上看到金继的光芒，看到生命的闪光，尽管它有破碎，但因为它们而拼凑起来。

As we step into 2025, I invite you to see your own cracks as spaces to be filled with gold. To confront the anger, despair, and fear that betrayal leaves behind. To understand that healing is not linear, nor is it easy. It is a cobbled path, strewn with doubts and distractions, but it is

当我们迈入 2025 年时，我邀请您将自己的裂缝视为可以用黄金填充的空间。面对背叛留下的愤怒、绝望和恐惧。要明白治愈不是线性的，也不是一件容易的事。这是一条鹅卵石铺成的小路，充满了怀疑和干扰，但它