I Refuse to Pay Taxes to Elon Musk's Government. Here's Why.

If you were to ask how someone with my personality could stay married to the same person for almost 25 years, I would point to this exchange with

As someone with my personality, it's hard to believe I've been married to the same person for almost 25 years. But last night, I had an exchange with Secret Service that might help explain it.

ME: “We are NOT paying taxes to Elon Effing Musk this year. I refuse. Pay in our own meme coins instead.”

HE: “Well, we could make up our own money and pay with that.”

If you're not familiar with cryptocurrency, also known as "made up money," let me first congratulate you. But you may not get my husband's quip.

Here's the definition of crypto from the Reserve Bank of Australia:

Cryptocurrencies are digital tokens. They are a type of digital currency that allows people to make payments directly to each other through an online system. Cryptocurrencies have no legislated or intrinsic value; they are simply worth what people are willing to pay for them in the market.

Think of it as an old-fashioned Swiss Bank that doesn’t exist, then add stockbrokers who are smoking a lot of meth. That’s crypto.

Also of note: there’s no way to consistently regulate crypto, because different regions and nations have different rules surrounding it.

Meme coins are even worse. From Investopedia:

A meme coin is a cryptocurrency named after characters, individuals, animals, artwork, or anything else in an attempt to be humorous, light-hearted, and attract a user base by promising a fun community.

Ridiculous, right?

Just before he was sworn into office, President Trump rolled out his own meme coin. It made over a hundred million dollars in trading fees. Even after the stock fell in price by half, it made him billions of dollars.

Seven or eight years ago, I made a bit of money with crypto. I have always been fond of the underworld, and I understand the investing principle of “buy low, sell high.”

I made most of my money on something called blockchain, which powers cryptocurrency.

Blockchain became so hot, an iced tea company added “blockchain” to their logo so it would sell more.

Their stock price went up 200%.

This is telling. It lets you in on something about investing in crypto, although honestly the same thing occurs with the regular stock market. Once a stock starts skyrocketing, investors might purchase it with little knowledge or care about what they’re buying.

The reason I made money on blockchain isn’t because I’m an expert on cryptocurrency, but because I understand human nature.

It takes a lot of energy, this cryptocurrency thing. It’s terrible for the environment. At the time I was unaware.

Turns out I was unaware of quite a bit, and at this point I sincerely wish I were still unaware. When I think about the razor’s edge on which our nation is perched, it is impossible not to feel terror.

But listen, people. Now is not the time for learned helplessness. We need each other, because we the people need to take some action.

Perhaps the action is a collective refusal to fund Elon Musk’s government.

Shortly after the election in November, President Trump announced that there was going to be a Department of Government Efficiency, overseen by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy. Ramaswamy has since bowed out, leaving Musk alone in charge. The department was to oversee the reduction of waste in federal funds.

Its acronym is DOGE, which is also the name of Musk’s favorite meme coin.

There’s a cute dog as DOGE’s mascot. The most popular meme coins tend to have catchy artwork.

If you are my age or older you may begin to hear strains of The Twilight Zone theme, but here we are, folks. I didn’t make it up. Sadly, these are facts.

The good news: anyone can make a meme coin. You can, I can, we can all make up our own imaginary money. It won’t be worth anything unless people buy it, but we can make it, maybe it will strike the fancy of someone, and we’ll get rich.

Here’s a link to instructions for doing so.

When I told Secret Service I didn’t want to pay taxes to Musk, this is the joke. We can pay in our own meme coins.

I think it’s a brilliant idea. I worry that I’ll cave out of fear and end up paying. This way I can pay Elon’s way.

Fake money for his fake government.

It’s exhausting. All of it.

But here’s something I feel with certainty. The federal government as we know it doesn’t exist anymore. It would be unethical for me to put money into a system that no longer supports democracy.

Trump just made Musk a special government employee. There is absolutely nothing stopping Musk from putting our Social Security money in Trump