The six key money questions to discuss with your partner before settling down

When it comes to relationships, most couples will want to figure out pretty quickly whether they have similar values, if they want kids, and what their future together might look like.

When it comes to relationships, most couples will want to figure out pretty quickly whether they have similar values, if they want kids, and what their future together might look like. But one topic that often gets overlooked? Money. It’s not the sexiest thing to discuss, but avoiding it can lead to some serious problems later on. Whether it’s different views toward spending, mismatched financial goals, or hidden debts, money issues can cause tension in even the strongest relationships. So, if you’re unsure what to ask — or why it matters — here are six key money questions to discuss with your partner before settling down. 1. What are your financial goals? Understanding each other’s financial goals is crucial to ensuring your on the same page, according to Clare Moffat, pensions and tax expert at Royal London. She explains: ‘Whether it’s saving for a house, investing for the future, or paying off debts, aligning your goals can help prevent conflicts and build a stable future together.’ As more people marry later in life than in previous generations, Clare notes this brings a different dynamic to money conversations. She explains: ‘It’s exciting and can be a fresh start, but it’s also normally a stage when you have the most assets, and you might have children from previous relationships. ‘Taking legal and financial advice to avoid financial pitfalls can be crucial.’ 2. What’s your credit score? While it’s by no means a first-date question, knowing your partner’s credit score is essential. Clare explains: ‘Many people are unaware that getting married can involve taking on legal liabilities your partner may have.’ While you would not be liable for debts that are just in your partner’s name, you could be responsible for the whole of debts that are in joint names. ‘If you have a joint account for example, both partners in marriage are equally responsible for debts, regardless of who incurred them,’ says Clare. ‘This includes joint loans, mortgages, and bank accounts.’ It’s therefore important to discuss your approach to debt. ‘It’s vital to include any existing loans or credit card balances,’ says Clare. ‘One partner’s debt can impact joint financial decisions and even affect credit scores if you have joint credit.’ 3. What are your spending habits? ‘Given that money is a common cause of arguments, it’s essential to understand each other’s spending habits,’ Clare explains. Whether your partner is a saver or a spender, and what they prioritize when it comes to outgoings, can help you set mutual budgets and avoid surprises that could lead to arguments. 4. How should we manage our finances? While some couples often have one person taking on the majority of the financial decisions, Clare advises sharing the load. She explains: ‘Deciding whether to keep finances separate, combined, or a mix of both is an important conversation. ‘It influences transparency, trust, and financial management in the relationship. Setting clear boundaries and systems can help avoid misunderstandings.’ If you have a joint account, Clare suggests that you should be clear about its purpose from the outset. ‘For example, you should agree on how you will split household bills. This is particularly important if one of you earns more than the other. Some people automatically assume it will be 50:50, no matter how big the pay gap, so it’s worth clarifying before the bills mount up,’ she explains. 5. What are your views on prenups? ‘Prenuptial agreements can be a delicate topic and, although not always legally binding depending on where you live, they are generally taken into account by the courts,’ she explains. ‘So it may be one to consider if you want to protect assets accumulated before marriage, for example, if you own a business.’ Clare adds that it’s also important to be mindful of the financial implications of divorce. 6. Can we keep talking? Talking about money once isn’t enough in relationships. Clare explains that it’s crucial to keep the conversation going. She says: ‘You’ll both grow in your marriage. Your circumstances may change, or you may feel like you want different things from your finances—and your life.’ So, Clare says to make sure you agree from the outset that money and finances will always be an evolving conversation. ‘Keep talking about money and try to address any issues early on, before they become big problems,’ she says. James Brien, founder of Easy Online Divorce and author of The Mindful Divorce, says that while the topic may be uncomfortable for many, discussing finances is essential for healthy relationships. Disagreements around money are a major contributor to divorce and relationship breakdowns. He explains: ‘Money and finances cause more problems in relationships than anything else. What can start as small disagreements can eventually lead to ongoing resentment and secrecy. Over time the problems get bigger and bigger until eventually the relationship breaks down completely.’ But how should you broach the subject? According to James, it’s important to