Netflix 吐槽汤姆·布雷迪最搞笑、最严厉的精彩片段，包括吉赛尔离婚笑话、威尔·法瑞尔饰演的罗恩·勃艮第等等 |电影混合

Everybody with a Netflix subscription has been granted some exclusive comedy anew thanks to the Netflix Is a Joke fest, with John Mulaney’s Everybody’s In L.A. going the whole nine yards (or six nights) in giving viewers a totally unique experience. But only one event could exist in just a single iteration: The Roast of Tom Brady, the live and 100% NSFW special aimed at the so-called GOAT of NFL-dom, with plenty of extra targets hit along the way.

得益于 Netflix Is a Joke fest，每个订阅 Netflix 的人都可以重新获得一些独家喜剧，约翰·穆拉尼 (John Mulaney) 的《人人都在洛杉矶》(Everybody's In L.A.) 全程九码（或六个晚上），为观众带来完全独特的体验。但一次迭代中只能存在一项活动：汤姆·布雷迪 (Tom Brady) 的吐槽大会，这是一场 100% NSFW 现场特别节目，针对所谓的 NFL 界最佳球员，一路上还击中了许多额外目标。

And wow to the wow, right from the kickoff, host Kevin Hart got right to it, setting the bar lower than low before Roast Master Jeff Ross took everything down to Hell and back again. Unsurprisingly, a whole lot of downright awful jokes were made at not only Tom Brady’s expense — "Fuck you, Tom!" came close to catchphrase territory — but at the expense of everyone whose name came up during the event, which is already destined to be one of Netflix’s best stand-up specials, especially with a run-time that pushed three hours.

哇哦，哇哦，从一开始，主持人凯文·哈特(Kevin Hart)就开始了，在烘焙大师杰夫·罗斯(Jeff Ross)把一切都打入地狱然后又回来之前，他把标准设置得比低低还要低。毫不奇怪，很多彻头彻尾的可怕笑话不仅以汤姆·布雷迪为代价——“操你，汤姆！”几乎达到了流行语的境界，但代价是所有在活动中出现的人的名字都被牺牲了，这注定是 Netflix 最好的单口喜剧特别节目之一，尤其是在长达三个小时的运行时间中。

Let’s loosen the gloves and dive into some of the harshest jokes that were made during the night, from gags covering the timeline of Tom and Gisele Bündchen’s relationship to jokes about Rob Gronkowski’s intelligence to a comparison between Brady and some of history’s most notorious killers.

让我们放松一下手套，深入了解当晚发生的一些最残酷的笑话，从汤姆和吉赛尔·邦辰关系时间线的笑话，到有关罗布·格隆考斯基智力的笑话，再到布雷迪和历史上一些最臭名昭著的杀手之间的比较。

So. Many. Jokes. About The Gisele Bündchen Divorce

As soon as it was announced that Tom Brady would be the subject of a new celebrity Roast, the lineup of subject matter ripe for the pickin’ was pretty clear, and his soured relationship with ex-wife Gisele Bündchen, as well as co-parenting their children, would be on the table. But holy shit, that table was actually a butcher’s block the side of a small neighborhood.

（图片来源：Netflix）汤姆·布雷迪 (Tom Brady) 将成为新名人吐槽会的主题一经宣布，可供挑选的主题阵容就非常清晰，而且他与前妻吉赛尔·邦辰 (Gisele Bündchen) 的关系也很糟糕，以及共同抚养孩子的问题也将摆在桌面上。但天哪，那张桌子实际上是一个小社区一侧的肉店。

Nobody pulled any punches when talking about Tom Brady leaving the New England Patriots for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or his failed cryptocurrency efforts, but none of those barbs were nearly as razor-edged as the CONSTANT barrage of divorce jokes that Brady suffered throughout the night. While the kids themselves were mostly off-limits, the jiu-jitsu instructor Bündchen was seen with, so to speak, was very much on-limits. Check out some of the zingers below.

当谈到汤姆·布雷迪离开新英格兰爱国者队加盟坦帕湾海盗队，或者他失败的加密货币努力时，没有人会毫不留情，但这些倒刺都不像布雷迪整晚不断遭受的离婚笑话那么尖锐。 。虽然孩子们本身大多是禁区，但可以说，与柔术教练邦辰在一起的地方却是非常禁区的。看看下面的一些精彩内容。

• "Single life is what you deserve because you had no choice. Gisele gave you an ultimatum. Gisele said, ‘You retire, or we’re done.’ That’s what she said to you, Tom. ‘You retire, or we’re done.’ Let me tell you something. When you’ve got a chance to go 8-9 and all it will cost you is your wife and your kids, you gotta do what the fuck you gotta do, do you understand me? Yeah, you gotta do it. . . . Yeah, Tom! Fuck them kids!" - Kevin Hart
• "You know obviously, buddy, you got really used to not being touched, right? Just like the end of the marriage. Look, buddy, you’ve got more rings than I do, but I’ve experienced a couple of things that you’ll never experience: The feeling of being the No. 1 overall draft pick in the NFL and a 28th wedding anniversary. It was yesterday." - Drew Bledsoe
• "The only thing dumber than you saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’ That’s gotta suck. How much would it suck for Tom just knowing your ex-wife’s new boyfriend can beat your ass while eating hers?" - Nikki Glaser
• "You’re the best to ever play, for too long. You retired, then you came back, then you retired again. I mean, I get it. It’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend. Hey, to be fair, he didn’t know she was pregnant, he just thought she was getting fat. Tom hates fat. I mean, do you know about his diet program? It is so strict, but if you follow it exactly as he does, you too, can lose your family. Seriously, you could lose so much family. It works." - Nikki Glaser
• "Gronkowski, Edelman, Welker. That’s not a receiving corps, that’s a law firm. And with that divorce coming up, you’re gonna need them. Oh, that’s why Dana’s here, so you can learn how to fuck a Brazilian out of half their purse." - Andrew Schulz

No stone left unturned, as they say, even if "they" definitely weren't talking about Tom Brady's relationship woes at the time. There were 100% moments where the Super Bowl GOAT looked ready to crawl under just such a rock, but thankfully kept his game face on and laughed throughout the majority of the vicious punchlines.

“单身生活是你应得的，因为你别无选择。吉赛尔给了你最后通牒。吉赛尔说，‘你退休，否则我们就完了。’这就是她对你说的，汤姆。‘你退休，否则我们就完了。’让我告诉你一件事，当你有机会进入 8-9 的时候，你所付出的代价就是你的妻子和孩子，你必须做你必须做的事情，你明白我的意思吗？是啊，汤姆，你必须这么做。” - 凯文·哈特“你显然知道，伙计，你真的已经习惯了不被碰触，对吧？就像婚姻的结束一样。看，伙计，你的戒指比我多，但我经历过一对夫妇你永远不会经历的事情：成为 NFL 状元秀的感觉和 28 周年结婚纪念日就在昨天。” - 德鲁·布莱索“唯一比你对这个烤肉说‘是’更愚蠢的事情就是当你说，‘嘿宝贝，你应该尝试柔术。’这太糟糕了。如果汤姆知道你的前妻是新人，那该有多糟糕？男朋友吃她的屁股的时候还能打你的屁股吗？” - Nikki Glaser“你是有史以来最好的球员，持续了很长时间。你退役了，然后你回来了，然后你又退役了。我的意思是，我明白了。很难离开不是你怀孕的女朋友的东西。嘿，公平地说，他不知道她怀孕了，他只是认为她越来越胖了。我的意思是，你知道他的饮食计划是如此严格，但如果你完全按照它去做的话。他确实会失去你的家人，说真的，你可能会失去很多家人。” - Nikki Glaser“Gronkowski、Edelman、Welker。那不是接待团，那是一家律师事务所。随着离婚的临近，你会需要他们。哦，这就是达纳在这里的原因，这样你就可以学习如何操一个女人巴西人掏出了一半的钱包。” ——安德鲁·舒尔茨 正如他们所说，即使“他们”当时绝对没有谈论汤姆·布雷迪的感情困境，也千方百计。百分百的时刻，这位超级碗山羊看起来准备在这样的岩石下爬行，但值得庆幸的是，他保持着比赛的表情，并在大部分恶毒的笑点中大笑。

Those O.J. Simpson And Jerry Buss Burners

Kevin Hart proved himself to be quite the energetic Roast host, as he gleefully took on every imaginable kind of joke about his height and his movie choices, and also gave lots of props while also dishing out a multitude of clever jabs. (That got a bit more slurred as the night went on.) And he let audiences know exactly what kind of night we were in for just by him talking about the very building the event was being held in, the Kia Forum, and its history tied to not Tom Brady's sport of choice, but basketball. In Hart's words:

（图片来源：Netflix）凯文·哈特证明了自己是一位充满活力的烤肉主持人，他兴高采烈地开起了各种关于他的身高和电影选择的笑话，并提供了很多道具，同时还提出了许多巧妙的建议。刺拳。 （随着夜幕降临，这句话变得更加含糊不清了。）他通过谈论举办活动的大楼、起亚论坛及其历史，让观众确切地知道我们度过了一个什么样的夜晚。与汤姆·布雷迪选择的运动无关，而是篮球。用哈特的话来说：

And before The Roast of Tom Brady could even hit the 20-minute mark, out came RoastMaster General Jeff Ross, wearing a flaming O.J. Simpson jersey and black gloves, even if he took both off after making this his blistering opening:

汤姆·布雷迪 (Tom Brady) 的烘焙大赛还没到 20 分钟，烘焙大师杰夫·罗斯 (Jeff Ross) 就出场了，他戴着一顶火焰 O.J. 啤酒。辛普森球衣和黑色手套，即使他在这成为他的开场白后都脱掉了：

That was followed by Kevin Hart joking about Jeff Ross only being angered by the O.J. Simpson scandal because a waiter was killed. Even Tom Brady had an O.J. joke late in the Roast when he ripped on Peyton Manning with a line about a white Bronco speeding down the 405. I can't say I expected those in particular, but that was just naivety on my part.

随后凯文·哈特开玩笑说杰夫·罗斯只是被 O.J. 激怒了。辛普森丑闻是因为一名服务员被杀。甚至汤姆·布雷迪 (Tom Brady) 也有 O.J.这是在吐槽晚宴上的一个笑话，当时他用一辆白色野马在 405 公路上飞驰的台词讽刺了佩顿·曼宁 (Peyton Manning)。我不能说我特别期待这些，但这只是我的天真。

Ron Burgundy Getting The Crowd Going With That Eli Manning Chant

It’s always a delightful surprise whenever Will Ferrell brings Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy out for a sports-adjacent appearance. The character is where some of Ferrell’s most quotable lines came from, and he was certainly on-point after taking the stage at The Roast of Tom Brady, with the gag being that he kept complimenting Brady in spite of his innate hatred. But his big moment wasn’t a traditional insult, but rather the fact that he set up a nightmare scenario for the NFL vet and his fans, in which seemingly the entire crowd chanted out:

（图片来源：Netflix）每当威尔·法瑞尔带着主播的罗恩·勃艮第出现在体育赛事中时，总是令人惊喜。这个角色是费雷尔最受引用的一些台词的来源，他在汤姆·布雷迪的吐槽大会上登台后无疑是切中要害的，搞笑的是，尽管他与生俱来的仇恨，他仍然不断称赞布雷迪。但他的重要时刻并不是传统的侮辱，而是他为这位 NFL 退伍军人和他的球迷创造了一个噩梦般的场景，似乎整个人群都高呼：

The chant refers to the two Super Bowls where Tom Brady and the Patriots lost to Eli Manning and the New York Giants, and the bonkers plays that went into those victories. As a longtime NFL fan, especially one who recalls both of those Super Bowls quite fondly, this was one of the wildest things I've ever seen with my eyeballs and heard with my eyes. Props to everyone who took part.

这首歌指的是汤姆·布雷迪和爱国者队输给伊莱·曼宁和纽约巨人队的两届超级碗，以及那些胜利中的疯狂表现。作为一名长期的 NFL 球迷，尤其是那些对这两场超级碗比赛记忆犹新的球迷，这是我亲眼所见、亲耳所闻的最疯狂的事情之一。向所有参与的人表示支持。

So Many Aaron Hernandez Jokes

Nothing is ever sacred when it comes to Roasts, and while past TV airings often cut out some of the most malicious comments, the live aspect of Netflix's special made that a no-go. And while I can't say for sure that jokes about NFL superstar-turned-murderer Aaron Hernandez and his in-prison suicide would have been cut from a Comedy Central telecast, for example, the number of them possibly would have been cut back.

（图片来源：Netflix）说到吐槽，没有什么是神圣的，虽然过去的电视节目经常删掉一些最恶意的评论，但 Netflix 特辑的现场直播却让这种做法变得不可行。例如，虽然我不能肯定地说，关于 NFL 超级明星变身杀人犯亚伦·埃尔南德斯及其狱中自杀的笑话会从喜剧中心的电视广播中删除，但其数量可能会减少。

But since we're already, we might as well point out a couple of pitch-black jabs that caused some of the biggest cringes of the night.

但既然我们已经这样做了，我们不妨指出一些导致当晚最大的令人畏缩的几次漆黑的刺击。

• "Now please give it up for zero-time Super Bowl champion Randy Moss! I’m sorry, Randy, why don’t you have a ring? What the hell, man? You’re one of the best ever. Drew Bledsoe has a ring. Aaron Hernandez had a ring, around his neck." - Nikki Glaser
• "Now, everyone always asks me how big Gronk's dick is. Now don't get me wrong, it gets the job done. But there was this other Patriots tight end, now he was hung." - Julian Edelman
• "Everyone’s up here talking about what a big winner Tom is, but let me tell you, Tom is afraid of the Giants. Which is why Kevin Hart is hosting tonight. All night he’s been using the stool that Aaron Hernandez kicked out from under himself." - Tony Hinchcliffe
• "Professor Gronkowski, my boy. Thank you for being here. Despite everything we've seen here tonight, Gronk was actually useful on the field. Although the bar for Patriots tight ends was pretty low back then: block, catch, don't murder." - Tom Brady

I mean, when even the dude's former buddy and quarterback is bringing those jokes to the special, with a healthy dose of tequila involved, then I guess all bets are off. But yeesh while giggling behind my hands all the same.

“现在请把它交给零次超级碗冠军兰迪·莫斯！对不起，兰迪，你为什么没有一枚戒指？到底是什么，伙计？你是有史以来最好的之一。德鲁·布莱索有亚伦·埃尔南德斯脖子上戴着一枚戒指。” - Nikki Glaser“现在，每个人总是问我 Gronk 的鸡巴有多大。现在不要误会我的意思，它完成了任务。但是还有另一个爱国者队的近端锋，现在他被绞死了。” - 朱利安·埃德尔曼“每个人都在谈论汤姆是一个多么大的赢家，但让我告诉你，汤姆害怕巨人队。这就是凯文·哈特今晚主持的原因。整晚他都在使用亚伦·埃尔南德斯踢出的凳子从他自己之下。” - 托尼·欣奇克利夫“格隆科夫斯基教授，我的孩子。谢谢你来到这里。尽管今晚我们在这里看到了一切，但格隆克在球场上实际上很有用。尽管当时爱国者队近端锋的门槛相当低：拦网、接球、不要杀人。” - 汤姆·布雷迪我的意思是，当连这家伙的前好友和四分卫也将这些笑话带到特别节目中，并加入健康剂量的龙舌兰酒时，那么我想所有的赌注都会被取消。但是，是的，我仍然在背后咯咯地笑。

Ben Affleck's Weird Social Media Diatribe

It was generally a highlight to see Ben Affleck taking the stage to get all Boston about shit, although I can't say I expected his presence to be an extended rant against social media trolls. That said, it was still kind of fun to watch it play out, as weird and 2014 as it was.

（图片来源：Netflix）看到本·阿弗莱克（Ben Affleck）登上舞台，让整个波士顿都大吃一惊，这通常是一个亮点，尽管我不能说我认为他的出现会成为对社交媒体巨魔的长期咆哮。尽管如此，观看它的上演还是很有趣的，尽管它很奇怪，而且是 2014 年的事情。

And if nothing else, the Oscar winner's presence gave Tom Brady a chance to invoke Kevin Smith by poking fun at Jersey Girl, Phantoms (yo), and Bat-fleck. What's the Venn diagram of Brady fanatics and Snyder-verse fanatics?

如果不出意外的话，这位奥斯卡奖得主的出现让汤姆·布雷迪有机会通过取笑泽西女孩、幽灵（哟）和蝙蝠斑点来调用凯文·史密斯。布雷迪狂热分子和斯奈德诗狂热分子的维恩图是什么？

How Often Rob Gronkowski Looked Into The Camera When People Joked About Him Being A Dummy

If someone only turned The Roast of Tom Brady on during certain moments of the special, one might easily be swayed into thinking Rob Gronkowski's intelligence was actually the target of everyone's prickly comments. Just about everyone took a swing at that broad side of the barn, and plenty of them were hilarious. (No props for some of the slurs used in those insults, nor during any of the gay jokes in this "locker room" though.) A few of the jabs that rose to the top:

（图片来源：Netflix）如果有人只在特别节目的某些时刻打开汤姆·布雷迪的吐槽，人们可能很容易就会认为罗布·格隆考斯基的智力实际上是每个人尖酸刻薄的评论的目标。几乎每个人都在谷仓那宽阔的一侧荡秋千，其中很多人都很搞笑。 （在这些侮辱中使用的一些诽谤，以及在这个“更衣室”中的任何同性恋笑话中，都没有道具。）一些上升到顶部的刺拳：

• "'Forum' is also the way Rob Gronkowski counts to 5. ‘4, um, 5, um…’ Poor Gronk, he thinks his last name is Owski." - Jeff Ross
• "Rob Gronkowski is...not all here. No, Rob, you’re not really as dumb as you look, and sound, and act, and are. He might be dumber. Is it true you were the first person born with CTE? Is that real? . . . You haven’t caught this much heat since you were microwaved as a baby." - Nikki Glaser
• "Gronk, I’m happy you could take a break from writing letters to Santa to be here today. I knew you were here when we were all out of chocolate milk backstage. By the way, Gronk, that’s Kevin Hart sitting next to you, that’s not your shadow. Gronk, you look like the Nazi that kept burning himself on the ovens. You look like the final boss on ‘George Floyd: The Video Game.’" - Tony Hinchcliffe
• "Tom also lost $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that? I mean, even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that not real money.’ Gronk actually does bitcoin, which is where he just chews on a handful of nickels." - Nikki Glaser

Nearly as funny as the jokes made at Gronkowski's expense were the number of times the camera would turn to catch his and Kevin Hart's reactions, and the former tight end would look directly down the barrel of the lens. It happened so many times, I couldn't tell if it was him doing a bit, Office-style, or if he was only looking up because his name was said, and just happened to look into the camera 4 out of 5 times.

“‘论坛’也是 Rob Gronkowski 数到 5 的方式。‘4，嗯，5，嗯……’可怜的 Gronk，他认为他的姓氏是 Owski。” - 杰夫·罗斯“罗布·格隆考斯基……不全在这里。不，罗布，你并不像你看起来、听起来、行动和实际那样愚蠢。他可能更愚蠢。你是第一个吗？患有 CTE 的人吗？自从婴儿时期就没有受过这么高的热量。” - Nikki Glaser“Gronk，我很高兴你今天能在写信给圣诞老人的过程中休息一下来到这里。当我们后台的巧克力牛奶都用完时，我就知道你在这儿。顺便说一句，Gronk，坐着的是凯文·哈特 (Kevin Hart)在你旁边，那不是你的影子，你看起来像那个不断在烤箱上烧自己的纳粹。你看起来像《乔治·弗洛伊德：电子游戏》中的最终老板。” - 托尼·欣奇克利夫“汤姆还损失了 3000 万美元。汤姆，我是说，就连 Gronk 也说，‘我知道那不是真正的钱。’Gronk 实际上是做比特币的，他只是在嚼几分钱。” - Nikki Glaser 与拿格隆考斯基开的玩笑一样有趣的是，镜头多次转动来捕捉他和凯文·哈特的反应，而这位前近端锋会直接看着镜头的镜筒。这种情况发生了很多次，我无法判断是他在做一些办公室风格的事情，还是他只是因为有人叫他的名字而抬起头，并且五次中有四次碰巧看着镜头。

Bert Kreischer And Tom Segura Compared Tom Brady To Hitler

Seemingly any online debate will eventually arrive at the point where one side compares the other to Adolf Hitler, but longtime envelope-pushers Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura didn't even wait for an argument to ensue. They came to The Roast of Tom Brady with a visual-assisted presentation that, in part, compared the former quarterback to some of history's most notorious serial killers, such as that other good-looking T.B., Ted Bundy.

（图片来源：Netflix）似乎任何在线辩论最终都会到达一方将另一方与阿道夫·希特勒进行比较的地步，但长期挑战极限的伯特·克赖舍尔和汤姆·塞古拉甚至没有等到争论随之而来。他们在《汤姆·布雷迪吐槽大会》中进行了视觉辅助演示，部分将这位前四分卫与历史上一些最臭名昭著的连环杀手进行了比较，例如另一位英俊的 T.B. 泰德·邦迪。

The apex was reached when, while standing in front of the image seen above, the two comedians dropped this double-dose of gobsmackers:

当两位喜剧演员站在上面看到的图像前时，投下了双倍剂量的令人目瞪口呆的东西，达到了顶峰：

• "The only difference between Tom Brady and Hitler is that he stuck with his wife until the end." - Bert Kreischer
• "At least Hitler had the balls to do what we wish Brady would: put a bullet in his head. Stay retired." - Tom Segura

Understandably, this was one of a couple of points during the night when those on stage made sure to point out that the things being said were only jokes, and that they did not want to be harmed by others.

“汤姆·布雷迪和希特勒之间的唯一区别是，他和妻子在一起直到最后。” - 伯特·克赖舍尔“至少希特勒有胆量做我们希望布雷迪做的事：把子弹射进他的脑袋。保持退休状态。” - 汤姆·塞古拉 可以理解的是，这是当晚台上的几个要点之一，当时台上的人一定会指出所说的事情只是笑话，他们不想受到别人的伤害。

Tony Hinchcliffe's Whole Damn Run

For a comedian whose entire career and persona are based in part on insult comedy, the onus was obviously on Tony Hinchcliffe to deliver the goods for his return to Netflix, which hosted his 2016 stand-up special One Shot. The comedian and podcaster absolutely slayed with every energetic pop that he delivered, with winning lines like those below (and others scattered elsewhere):

（图片来源：Netflix）对于一位整个职业生涯和人格都部分基于侮辱喜剧的喜剧演员来说，托尼·欣奇克利夫显然有责任为他重返 Netflix 带来成果，Netflix 主持了他 2016 年的单口喜剧特辑《One Shot》。这位喜剧演员兼播客主播的每一首充满活力的流行音乐都绝对令人惊叹，其中的获胜台词如下（以及其他分散在其他地方的其他台词）：

• "Tom Brady, why do you look like a gay Tom Brady?"
• "Sam Jay, everybody, killed. An obese, African-American lesbian, so by having her, Netflix checked off a lot of boxes. She is a black lesbo, which means she doesn’t eat pussy, she ‘Aw, hell gnaws’ on it."
• "Bert Kreischer is a king. He looks like if the Tiger King and the Liver King only ate Burger King and had a liver that looked like Martin Luther King got beat up by Rodney King."

And of all the jokes about Jeff Ross' Jewishness that were voiced throughout the three hours, I was possibly most tickled by Hinchcliffe saying that Ross only watches football for the coin tosses. Not everything he says has to necessarily be vile in some way, although when it does...watch out.

“汤姆·布雷迪，你为什么看起来像同性恋汤姆·布雷迪？”“山姆·杰伊，大家都被杀了。一个肥胖的非裔美国女同性恋，所以通过让她，Netflix 勾选了很多框。她是一个黑人女同性恋，这意味着她不吃猫，她‘哦，地狱啃咬’它。”“伯特·克赖舍尔是一个国王，他看起来就像虎王和肝王只吃汉堡王并且有一个看起来像马丁的肝脏。路德·金被罗德尼·金殴打。“在这三个小时里，所有关于杰夫·罗斯犹太身份的笑话中，最让我高兴的可能是欣奇克利夫说罗斯看足球只是为了掷硬币。他所说的一切不一定都在某种程度上是卑鄙的，尽管当它确实如此时……要小心。

Kevin Hart Getting Bill Belichick And Robert Kraft To Take A Shot Together

Some wild AF jokes were made about New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, specifically his alleged past dealings involving massage parlors and other topics, and former Patriots coach Bill Belichick also took on his fair share of shit-talk. But at no point did I think the twain should or would meet, but Kevin Hart made that happen by voicing into existence the former colleagues taking the stage to share a shot of booze.

（图片来源：Netflix）一些关于新英格兰爱国者队老板罗伯特·克拉夫特的疯狂 AF 笑话，特别是他涉嫌过去涉及按摩院和其他话题的交易，前爱国者队教练比尔·贝利切克也接受了他的一些废话。但我从来不认为两人应该或愿意见面，但凯文·哈特通过发声让前同事上台分享一杯酒，实现了这一点。

Granted, Belichick did not look like he was super-pumped to be doing so, and left the stage as soon as humanly possible, but good on him for being cordial about it without throwing his shot glass down like Gronk did.

诚然，贝利奇克看起来并没有那么兴奋，并尽快离开了舞台，但他很友善，没有像格隆克那样把酒杯扔到地上，这对他来说是件好事。

Those Two A+ Jokes About Kevin Hart And The Rock's Friendship

Even though the special featured all manner of A+ zingers about football, not even the world of professional wrestling went without a reference or two. Or at least one of its most successful superstars, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, whose history of joking with Kevin Hart and being the actor's BFF came up for a pair of hilariously NSFW jokes, as seen below:

（图片来源：Netflix）尽管该特别节目收录了有关足球的各种 A+ 精彩内容，但即使是职业摔跤界也没有不提及一两处。或者至少是最成功的超级巨星之一，“巨石”道恩·强森，他曾与凯文·哈特开玩笑，并且是凯文·哈特的好朋友，因此出现了两个令人捧腹的 NSFW 笑话，如下所示：

• "Kevin is 5’2”, 150 pounds. 155 after The Rock finishes. You're his favorite Fleshlight." - Nikki Glaser
• "Kevin Hart, or — as he’s known in the industry — The Rock’s bottom. Kevin is best friends with The Rock. His dad was also best friends with the rock — crack. We could smell what he was cooking — crack." - Andrew Schulz

To be expected, Kevin Hart lost his mind laughing at both of those, with Nikki Glaser taking a moment to extend her showmanship after making that comment, as one should after comparing another to a larger person's sex toy.

“凯文身高 5 英尺 2 英寸，体重 150 磅。The Rock 结束后体重为 155 磅。你是他最喜欢的 Fleshlight。” - Nikki Glaser“凯文·哈特，或者——正如他在业内所熟知的——巨石的底部。凯文是巨石最好的朋友。他的父亲也是巨石最好的朋友——裂纹。我们可以闻到他正在烹饪的东西——裂纹。 ” ——安德鲁·舒尔茨 不出所料，凯文·哈特 (Kevin Hart) 对这两件事都笑得失去了理智，妮基·格拉泽 (Nikki Glaser) 在发表评论后花了一些时间来扩展她的表演技巧，就像人们在将另一个人与更大的人的性玩具进行比较后应该做的那样。

Tom Brady's Big Response

Having heard a near-unending line of hellacious opinions and insults thrown his way for the better part of three hours, Tom Brady was armed and dangerous whenever he finally took the stage again to close out the stellar special. Obviously a lot of his lines were prepared by others, but that's not important, since he was the one tipsily reading all those F-bombs for live audiences both in-arena and streaming from home.

（图片来源：Netflix）在三个小时的大部分时间里，汤姆·布雷迪听到了几乎没完没了的恶毒观点和侮辱，每当他最终再次上台结束这场精彩的特别节目时，他就全副武装，充满危险。显然，他的很多台词都是其他人准备的，但这并不重要，因为他是那个醉醺醺地为现场观众和家里的观众朗读所有这些脏话的人。

And he did indeed get some of the night's big whoppers, which were aimed at Peyton Manning, Kanye West (who went unnamed), Drew Bledsoe and more, as evidenced by the below:

他确实得到了当晚的一些大话，这些话是针对佩顿·曼宁、坎耶·韦斯特（未透露姓名）、德鲁·布莱索等人的，如下所示：

• "Peyton, thank you so much for coming out to L.A. to do this. I know sometimes you live in Denver, and sometimes you live in Louisiana, but you’ll always live in my shadow."
• "The word ‘hero’ comes to mind. But I struggle with that word. Because like the rest of America, I’ll always remember where I was that fateful day in September of 2001, when tragically, those two Jets slammed into Drew Bledsoe."
• "I’ve heard some people talk about me having bad knees. You know why my knees are so fucked up, Kevin? Because I spent so many goddamn hours on the floor begging Netflix to get Chappelle to host this. Yeah, fuck you, Kevin."
• "Glaser, Schulz, Hinchcliffe, 2 racist Bears, who picked this shitty lineup, the New York Jets front office? But I’m not gonna say shit about Sam Jay, because she looks like that fucking dude who shredded my ACL."
• "Kim Kardashian, thank you so much for being here. I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight. Not because of this, but because her kids are at home with their dad."
• "Where’s Roger Goodell? Remember Deflategate? The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more ‘probable’ than not that I was ‘generally aware’ that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the $20 million and I would have just told you I fucking did it."

While I'm not sure if Tom Brady should ever take the stage for a televised stand-up special all on his own, this Netflix roast proves that he'd be a damned fine entrant in the line-up of roasters for whatever the next special is. Nothing has been announced during the rest of Netflix's 2024 schedule, but one can imagine if The Roast of Tom Brady is a big hit, then there will be more on the way sooner rather than later.

“佩顿，非常感谢你来到洛杉矶做这件事。我知道你有时住在丹佛，有时住在路易斯安那，但你永远生活在我的阴影下。”“英雄”这个词来了但我对这个词很挣扎，因为就像美国其他人一样，我永远记得 2001 年 9 月那决定性的一天，当时两架喷气机不幸撞上了德鲁·布莱索。”人们都说我的膝盖不好，凯文，你知道为什么我的膝盖这么糟糕吗？因为我在地板上花了很多时间恳求 Netflix 让查佩尔来主持这个节目。”“格拉泽，舒尔茨、欣奇克利夫、两支种族主义熊队，他们选择了这个糟糕的阵容，纽约喷气机队的管理层？但我不会说萨姆·杰伊的坏话，因为她看起来就像那个撕碎了我的前十字韧带的家伙。”“金·卡戴珊，非常感谢你来到这里。我知道金今晚来这里很害怕，不是因为这个，而是因为她的孩子们和他们的爸爸一起在家。”“罗杰·古德尔在哪里？还记得放气门吗？ NFL 花费了 2000 万美元，发现我“普遍意识到”有人可能给我的橄榄球放了气，这“更有可能”。你本可以给我 2000 万美元，我就会告诉你我他妈的做到了。”虽然我不确定汤姆·布雷迪是否应该独自登上电视单口喜剧特别节目的舞台，但 Netflix 的这部Netflix 的 2024 年剩余时间安排中尚未发布任何消息，但可以想象，如果《汤姆·布雷迪的烘焙》是一部大片，那么无论下一部特别节目是什么，他都会成为烘焙师阵容中的一名出色的新人。击中，那么迟早会有更多的人在路上。