The Kid Rock Coin: A Guaranteed Get-Rich-Quick Scheme

By Dan Toomey

An email was sent to Kid Rock by Dan Toomey, an LA-based crypto miner and entrepreneur, about launching his own crypto token. The email begins by mentioning their brief encounter at the Grammys afterparty and proceeds to highlight the recent trend among celebrities launching their own tokens, such as Caitlyn Jenner's $JENNER, Iggy Azalea's $MOTHER, and Donald Trump's $TRUMP tokens.

Toomey expresses surprise that Kid Rock, despite being a renowned figure in the entertainment industry, has yet to venture into this realm. He goes on to explain the concept of crypto tokens, blockchain, and cryptocurrencies in a simplified manner, comparing a blockchain to a digital ledger system monitored by crypto miners ("incels") and a cryptocurrency to the dollar of a blockchain.

To illustrate the potential benefits of launching his own coin, Toomey proposes "Kid'sCoin" ($KIDS), which would represent an ownership stake in the economy of Rock. He suggests launching it on the ethereum blockchain and promoting it relentlessly across major media outlets and platforms.

The email concludes with Toomey emphasizing the importance of grabbing attention by any means necessary to drive people to buy the coin. He encourages Kid Rock to speak in ebonics, pull up in a Tesla Cyber Truck with spray-painted boobs, or even profess his love for Mussolini on a podcast, as long as he manages to pique the interest of the masses.

According to Toomey, the more Kid Rock promotes the token, the higher its value will rise. They plan to own a majority of the $KIDS, making them richer in the process. Once the market cap reaches a substantial level (e.g., $100 billion), they intend to sell their holdings, causing the value of $KIDS to plummet.

While Kid Rock and Toomey will become billionaires, some of his fans will lose money. However, in five years, everyone will forget about the whole incident. Toomey adds that this is precisely what other celebrities are attempting to do with their tokens.

The email ends with a reminder that none of them need to understand crypto for this plan to succeed, and with Kid Rock being the guy who wrote "All Summer Long" and rhyming "trying different things" with "smoking funny things," he's already a deity in the eyes of his fans.